The Legend of Tatum

Around friends, family, and teachers, a favorite activty is sharing "Tatum Stories." I thought I would update you on a few recent Tatum stories...

1. In February, I received a call from a cafeteria worker at Tatum's school. The lady explained that she was with Tatum, who needed to come home because her loose tooth was bothering her too much to eat, so would I mind coming to pick Tatum up? I kindly explained that while I was happy to leave work and come speak to Tatum about her inability to eat, I was not taking her home.

2. During her gifted and talented class, Tatum and her classmates were challenged to think what Vincent Van gogh would do if he needed to wear glasses (s/p the whole ear cutting off incident). While other kids were busy creating special glasses, Tatum suggested that he could just wear contacts.

3. In preparation for open house back in August, the teacher had each 1st grader draw a picture and write about what they had learned so far in 1st grade. These sheets were waiting for us at the child's seat the night of open house. We were the first to arrive that night. Tatum's teacher suggested Tatum read me hers. I could have climbed under the table when Tatum read (in her flatest voice), "I have learned how to be very bored..."

4. When discussing with Tatum the banning of all words such as "boring, stupid, and dumb" in describing school activities, without missing a beat, Tatum asked, "What about wame ?" (lame in Tatum speak).

5. One night Tatum was having a hard time sleeping, she woke up several times during the night. I found her working 500 piece puzzles (yes, she's my child), reading books, doing math (so not my child). My favorite was being woken up at 2 am by her. She was explaining that Elizabeth had bitten her on her finger and "that wasn't very nice, was it?! I was just trying to pet her and give her some food. But it was ok at first since I could see her, but now she's under the stove and I cannot see her anymore. I'm going to go wake up Kelly!"

When I read parenting handbooks, I don't remember coming across a section on how to keep your hyperactive child from waking up their sibling (who would dissolve into tears over their missing and doomed pet) while simultaneously retrieving a dwarf hamster from under your stove at 2am. I think it would be very helpful if they covered such necessary topics.

6. During morning meeting, Tatum's teacher had decided to discuss a problem that a boy in her class was having. This boy did not like to come to school and would continuously complain that he wanted to be at home. The teacher wanted the other students to encourage this little boy by being positive about what they liked about going to school. Tatum leaned around the teacher and asked the boy, "Have you heard about homeschooling?" While the boy was *very* interested in this option, it was NOT the kind of help the teacher had been looking for.

7. At the pediatrician's office, Tatum needed to pass a hearing screen to start speech therapy. The tech took her from the examining room and I heard laughter from the multiple residents and nurses around (never a good sign). Turns out that the tech had instructed Tatum to raise her hand whenever she heard a beep. The tech started the test and Tatum began making these shoulder shrug movements. When the tech stopped the test to see if Tatum was confused over the instructions, Tatum stated, "Well, you told me to raise my hand when I heard the beeps, but the noises I am hearing are more like tones--is that what you meant or am I supposed to wait for the beeps?"

8. At another check-up, they were screening her vision with the little vision chart. Tatum couldn't identify the letters, so the lady changed to the shape chart. Tatum was still having a hard time, so we gave up and moved on. I scheduled an appointment with an optometrist and told Tatum that we needed to have her eyes looked at. She informed me that "nothing was wrong with my eyes, they just made the letters on the chart too small."

9. At church one night, the pastor dismissed the children to Sunday School by joking, "It's time for the kids to go off to wherever it is that they go, I can't remember where that is..." Tatum was already halfway to the aisle and out of my reach, so I just cringed as I heard her voice, "IT'S SUNDAY SCHOOL! WE GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL!" The people around her got a good laugh.

10. Tatum was having her speech evaluated by Dana (one of our favorite SLPs!). Tatum requested that Dana read her one of the kids' books in her office. Dana was doing a great job reading the book with such expression and adding little comments about the story. Tatum stopped her and very seriously requested, "Um, excuse me, but could you please just read the story."

So there's the top 10 from the last few months, I'm sure I've forgotten many more but I will post more as I think of them.